Remember Sam (not his real name)?

Well....in the previous entry, I mentioned about my instant crushes on him simply due to his honourable behavior. So I thought maybe you would like to know that there is a beyond-slight probability that he's not interested in me OR any other girls too. Hmm...that explained 'thing' I guess! P/s: The guy who-don't-know-what-he-wants has swallowed his own bitter pills twice within a space of a week or so. I feel so gooddddd!! (vindicated actually)

Tuhan masih sayang..

#1. Again, an accident on March 19th. Is MAV going to be the death of me one day? Na'uzubillah...er, need to prepare my will now. It was raining, again, & it happened right in front of my current dwelling. I was heading home, from the left side of road, stop in the middle of road & gave my signal to turn right. In the darkness of the sun setting down, I made a mistake in judgement (this is the same place where I've been turning right daily for the last 11 months or so) as I hurriedly turn right & thus the bike slam into the front passenger side - Gedeganggggg!!! I would NOT want it to ever happen again - the feeling of horror, helplessness, guilty-ridden blablabla.....According to my 'family lawyer', and as proven by the police summon immediately received, I was definitely guilty since the bike had the right of way but, but he has also the duty of care to slow down which was quite difficult at that time due to the road condition. Thank God, he was ok - even if the bike was NOT ok.... #2. I'm 36 now and I still have crushes - awwwww..... I first met Sam (not his real name) during one of the compulsory courses for new staff in June last year. He was outspoken and whenever he contributed to the discussion I felt like he's showing off since he'll mentioned his phd & work experience in Birmingham (again & again) and he speaks Queen's English. I was impressed at the same time! Then, we had another courses in December where we did share our experience with regards to sexual harassment at work (during one of the sessions). He had female student wearing hot pants *gasp!* leaning while sitting near him during discussion - it was obvious the girl was hitting on him & so forth. When it came to my story (mentioned in previous entry), he offered to pretend to be my boyfriend and come to office to settle things or something like that. Was he wonderful, manly or what? *I'm gushing with gratitude* Well..that basically covered everything. Some time in the last couple of weeks (on 24th March to be exact), I headed up to the bookshop on campus. Since I was passing by his building (i mean his work office, he has a side business too) I did think of him like.. wouldn't it nice to meet him again blablabla...a girl can only wish! After the bookshop, I headed back down & stopped at the pharmacy. My mind was thinking of, "...too bad, he was nowhere to be found!" and my hand was on the door to push it open. Imagine how big was my surprise when the door was pulled open for me and he was there greeting me!!!!! Had quite a shock actually & don't know what I blabbering after that.. What I would like to emphasize here is how wonderful it is - a simple act of kindness & gentleness on his part - being a gentleman, noticing me, by opening the door he made my day! AND I knew now that he has recurring attacks of gout which is hereditary but he simply loves seafood, cooked by his mom. #3. I have move on, finally. I can now think of him, look at his photos etc. and simply wish the best in life for him. That heavy leaden-heart feeling is gone. Thank you Allah. It was the closure that I have been looking for. #4. I gave as good as I get. This particular single guy (mentioned some where before) is problematic - in communicating his thoughts. Rude. Selfish too. Imagine, he started a conversation (either smses or BBMs), I replied, to get the ball rolling I asked further questions...AND he simply ignored me! One, or twice is still considered ok. I did mention the annoying habit to him directly and he just laugh it off! But it has gone beyond enough to me...now I simply not responded to his msgs, deleted him from my BBM contacts - let him swallow his own bitter pills haha! Remind me, why do I need him as a friend again? #5. Need to work harder at work. Publications!