The ones that got away...

Same old, same old stories...

Earlier in late December last year or was it earlier January this year, when my mak was around with me for 5 weeks in Penang:

1. An ustaz through another married ustaz is looking for his candidate. Age late 40-s. Reason of being single due to taking care of his mother who recently passed away -  Innalillah.....

Location: in Kedah

The matchmaker is non-willing colleague who was approached by another middle person on behalf of the married ustaz - I suspected from their joined community projects which I was involved somehow - to a limited extent. She said, here is an unmarried person looking for a wife so please contact the married ustaz - she's not interested to continue the efforts of being a go-between.

Based on the hp number, I contacted the married ustaz saying I agreed to get to know the other party. Guess what? He was shocked!!!! It took him quite sometime to respond to my message - must be he is not used to a direct female.

Fast forward, it was during intensive weeks (Jan/Feb) at work when the other party wanted to come & meet - again, the matchmaker was reluctant anyway since she planned to be away immediately after for quite some time. That was the end of it.

2. Prof that I worked with and know a lot about my stories - don't worry, we're not having an affair as per dirty mind of my colleague - we work together along with another production assistant who know a lot about my stories too. I remember, around the time I told my mak about the ustaz, Prof called me around Maghrib and said he was having tea time with his wife and somehow conversation about me being not married came out and his wife knows of one teacher in her school whose wife passed away due to sickness and how he himself taking care of the small children who are really in need of a mom.

He's very kind but shy.

Location: Perai

I said ok and on the next day, Prof called me and asked when am I ready to meet the other party? I said, I'm ok - any time subject to the other party wants to meet of course. Then Prof said, his wife said better meet up soon (aka that week) since once school reopen in January (the following week) he'll be busy as a teacher and fathering his kids.

Cut short the story, no nothing came from his side - I understood that he is not interested lah..

Fast forward to yesterday, during phone conversation, Prof mentioned that he, the widower, already got married to a PAR at his school whose husband passed away too and have children who now even call him 'Cikgu' at home. Alhamdulillah syukur.. I am happy for him.

____

Fast forward to early to mid-September this year:

My sister #5 played matchmaker - she suggested for me to get to know her coworker-at-school's husband's colleague who used to work in Seremban  but now back in AS*tar.

I was reluctant... not because he is much older (54) but I'm tired of getting to know people and my heart broken to smithereens again and again. I have K*puteh now - he's my baby - my life is complete! Even mak accepted him and referred to him as my anak. I have my family esp mak, work to take care of my basic needs, career that is demanding (was appointed as Business Coordinator from mid March) and I don't even have time to slot in my running much more to sign up for events!

Against my wishes. since I asked him to answer 4,5 questions through the middle person, my sister gave my hp no to him. So, he messaged me late Thursday evening and I just responded accordingly. Conversations were stilted - stopped by Friday morning due to me having a seminar. He only came out for air on later Satuday evening - which I replied on late Sunday evening - eve of Eidul Adha. I thought - that was it!

4. Earlier on that same Friday, I talked to my matchmaker colleague who called me earlier on  Tuesday, "Rad!!!! Jodoh you dah sampai...Dat*k Rad!!!" She was excited - I was having no feeling at all - told her I wanted to think about it. So, on Friday noon, I told her - no, I'm not interested to know this guy - coz to my mind, not fair to get to know another guy while I'm in the process of getting to know 54. Oh, this Dat*k guy is 52. 52 is a divorcee which 3 adult kids, and an future alumni of my work place but not directly under me. It seemed that he simply called her & asked her to help him find a candidate. Should I be touched that my colleague think of no other person than me? Huh!

He planned to further his study - MA & PhD. Again, at my work place. 

She asked me to pray Istikharah which I did! So, while I was at my hometown, she acted as the go-between us with me asking lots of questions including the 4Qs above. I thought I was being clever enough to filter the seedy guy: 1) What is your plan w.r.t. hajj? 2) What is your opinion, as a hubby - hypothetically of course - on the roles of a career woman and as a wife, mother, daughter too? 3) What is your hobby? During free time? 4) Anything you would like to ask me? To be fair, again...

This 52 guy answered all questions. Wow!! I was quite happy with the answer...

By Monday, after so many Q&A, my matchmaker said there are certain things which ought to be amongst the two of us only and she's not interested to know. So, i gave her the permission to give my no to him. 

Here was the craziness started:

52 first messaged me on Tuesday noon. By the end of the day, we already had a long phone conversation. Continued on Wednesday - messages & long phone conversation - we clicked together!

On Thursday, I brought my mak to Seremban through KP. He knew of my plan to drive back on Friday morning. He offered to be my driver!!! He in Perai, take a bus (Hmm.. kata Dat*k??) to KL & I'm to pick him up with lots of rambutans, duku langsat, asam gelugor, belimbing buluh, and kedondong.

However by late Thursday evening, he said - changes of plan. It was ok with me - I'm used to drive alone anyway.

By Friday, when I reach Penang - he said he still wanted to meet up but not the 3 of us as discussed earlier - he's got something to tell me.

So, we met at 5pm. 

Here, again, the short story.

He got to know late Thursday evening thru a contact that his 3 stories semi-detached unit (show off with photos on Tuesday) is going to be auctioned off to pay his business debt from long ago - 2007/2008.

Since I kept telling him before that I don't like surprises! I don't like liar & cheater too! Or people trying to take advantage of me!

So, he's playing my cards...

I said, at the end of the so-called date (went ot the GH and ended up  he spent RM8.10 at cafetaria on campus for both of us - I wanted to think about it...

By Saturday, my matchmaker colleague got help of somebody to check his old Merc plate - road tax already expired since June and not belong to him! That explained the slow drive on the middle lane.

By following Monday, checked online to prove no dat*k (istiadat.gov.my - by states), no other vehicles under his name registered at J*J, he's blacklisted (forgot PD*M or J*J list), and best of all - he's registered bankrupt under E*N & Bank Isl*m! Around the same time, he updated his newly create Fb with getting the watikah - but where is the official photos?

I told my matchmaker, I told him that I wanted time to pray Istikharah which I did - for a week! By this time, he already went against my wish for privacy & changed his tunes a couple of time - wanting to be friend only now! 

I'm just grateful to Allah for putting me in his care, insya-Allah...save me from those who want to take advantage of me.  

5. Oh...that one from 5 years ago said, "You turn me down before, onwards, sorry la, I will always turn you down." That was on July 9th. I have loss count of how many times I reach out to him but this time, I get it - I really get it! How many times should I push myself to go through the same emotional roller coaster. We did met up once, surprisingly during Ramadhan for iftar - I guess, we have lost that feeling from inside us. I wish him the best & may he finds what he's really looking for so that I can really let go & move on..

Moral of the 5 stories: I can easily love again.. 

O.M.G!!! I heard the gossip just now from P2: they, I mean, she and him, P1, are getting married - weeeeeeeeeeee!

I said, "What about the 1st wife?" yes, she knows already - agree? Well, I have no idea... me & her have already stopped communicating on Fb. Reason being, I hinted at something might be going on between her hubby and my boarder. Someone catch sight of them (she was going to LKW) at the airport during the time the 1st wife's mother recently passed away.

Rad, you dah gemok!!

Said my neighbour yesterday at the office corridor, a male, who has no reason to suck up to me. Then, an administrative lady downstairs also said the same thing - arghhhhhhhhhhhh!!! Especially on my cheek sides, she said. I did ask few other colleagues/friends but I guess they were not being honest, "No lah.. manade.. maybe baju (blouse) you pakai tu.." Tsk-tsk...

But, but it has been only 4 weeks since I have been gone to my alma mater. I did climb onto my digital weighing scale yesterday: 59.1kg, which is a bit scary but still acceptable since my weight basically yo-yoing between a maximum of 61kg and a minimum of 56.5kg (immediately post-Ramadhan last year). If only I manage to reach down to 52kg by shaking off my current excess luggage of 10kg....*sigh* dream on lah!

For the past 4 weeks, I had been running/jogging only once (the week before last week) plus a Z*mba session (last Wednesday) and on the treadmill on Saturday for 5.3km (45 minutes - I missed my thrice weekly gym session!). Food wise, I'm spoilt with choices - no nice char kue teow yet - but a plate of huge Nasi Ayam P*nyet at only RM4? Better than McD, special burger with lotsa veggies & wrap in egg at only RM3.20? Today's lunch at UNIK*B, RM5 for rice with kerabu goreng sambal, sweet-sour fish fillet and kangkung belacan plus lime drink summore? There is no cooking (gantung kuali) for me, except once or twice on weekends at my hometown. Just now, when I asked whether the fried rice & noodle selections are available - soon she said!  - the cashier also mentioned that the selection of stalls (including Arabic et al. as well as waffle/churros uols) are open 24/7! Wow....

I imagine it is pretty convenient for those in my faculty as well as those studying at the library to come out for air and replenish their energy too with good food and don't forget the spirit of entrepreneurship being nurtured (since stalls are being managed by students (local & foreign) themselves  - but I saw Indo workers too - obviously for Ayam P*nyet). But, I'm concern now about the environmental impact, I can smell the fried chicken whenever I go to the ladies at the end of the corridor on my 4th floor; I see the monsoon drain water clogging, not moving and oily, rubbish simply throw on the ground, eyesore in terms of stacks of tables, used banners put indiscriminately etc. I wonder about the proper cafes on campus and hall of residences - are they making enough money to continue their existence?

Talking about my recent gym session, sadly after about 2 years in existence, it is not properly managed. The entrance lock to the male side is jammed so the guys have to enter through the ladies side. While I was on the treadmill, a mother came in with her two kids, one about kindy or primary school age and the other around 3-4 yo. The thing is, the two treadmills are facing the wall, with no mirror. There is no way for you to know what is going on behind you, other than through sounds, or even who come in or go out. Knowing how kids and siblings are, they started to play by themselves and bicker, and the mother shouted at them while running on the treadmill next to me. And repeated the scene a couple of times. At one time, one of the guards came in & said (with a small voice) no kids allowed inside the gym and she became so mad, "I can take care of my kids lah!"  She kind of included me in the exchange but I choose not to say anything as I believe the gym is a dangerous playing ground for small kids due to equipment laying around (dumb-bells, weigh machine etc.) and given the poor maintenance and lack of caring attitude by the users, there are broken or damage parts which even I know not where to put back. I wish the father cum hubby are caring enough to look after the kids while the wife is spending time to take care of her health .. too much to hope for?

So far, I sign up only for PB*M HM n November, no other events.. which mean no urgency to keep to my training schedule. Oh, forget about better pacing too .. my knees are bothering me too especially going down the stairs.

P/s: My baju kurung for raya are ready - all 4 of them! I still need to go back to PEN next month to settle  my road tax & insurance stuff as well as few other things.
The one whose name I shall not mentioned - still no news of flight tix! I thought her extension only until May 24th, this Sunday? Aiyaiyai... I thank God for no sight of her during the short trip.

2 months and 2 days.. (part 1)

So, this is the story of my ex-housemate of 2 months and 2 days.. 

Instead of Feb 1st, her arrival was delayed to Thursday, February 19th. Basically, after more delays and I waited and more waiting, she arrived almost the next day, close to midnight.

___

Prologue:

When I was kindly asked to host her some time late last year, I already make it known that I won’t be around from mid-April onwards – no, no problem at all coz the 1st Prof (1P) did left her that night at my place (under my care) fully prepared with his old BB phone & contact no. of a lady taxi driver so that it is easy for her to move around – just give her a call any time. Oh, BTW, it costs her RM30 per 20 minutes trip to the office – even the shorter distance to the eport, less than 10 minutes away, normally costs a minimum of RM20-25.

My preparation consisted of installing an AC unit for her room, paid by her ‘unreturnable deposit’ – thank you very much (refer to the entry in January 2015). The 1P came a couple of times to my place, first to inspect the unit with his wife when I wasn’t around (given that I, who was away & already gave him the keys to my place, he should have the courtesy to inform me BEFORE going in to check instead of after, no? She also agreed on this matter); second to pass along her comfy package for her long stay: prayer clothes, bottles of honey (coz later she told me she is taking medicine for controlling her cholestrol level such that no intake of carbohidrate from rice, pasta & no-NO sugar!), set of fluffy towels (fact:  I already prepared the room with new towel, blanket, snack & toiletries too), toiletries, chocolates & other snacks.

___

I was told that since she travelled all the way from Montr*al (it was still winter there), long transit and wasn’t feeling well a couple of weeks before that, she might spend the next couple of days mostly sleeping – her jetlagged. But, it was very important for her to look presentable come Monday, thus I was supposed to help find her a hair salon to colour her grey hair – she is 50, BTW..

I cooked rice noodle soup with meat balls for Friday lunch which I shared with her. She ran out of cigarettes so the 1st trip was to walk downstairs & cross the main road to the grocer to buy her cigarettes – she wanted B*nson & H*dges but without the gory pix on the boxes, and the difference between light & non-light whatever... We passed by a Muslimah hari salon and spa – oh, I didn’t know this! – so we make it a point to visit the spa on the next day. She wanted body massage, colour her hair but using her own product –which she brought along -  Made in Italy or something. After a long discussion on Saturday’s 2nd trip, we made an appointment for her hair colour thing on Sunday – by the owner herself - and thus I spent my better half of Saturday accompanying her during the body massage. Oh, it was her birthday month too & she got discounts for the treatment. And we came again on Sunday afternoon, at 2pm for her hair appointment & again my unofficial duty as chaperon or something until almost 7pm. I did bring a long a journal article to read but ended up taking care of the owner’s bored little lady. 

She, the owner, was divorced from her 1st husband, a Chinese Muslim convert and they have 2 boys together –which I got to meet at the end of the long session. Interesting boys especially the younger one who goes to religious school & asked me why did she, not the mother obviously,  not covering her hair & I explained – similarly in Malaysia, there are Muslims who pray and also those who do not pray, those ladies who cover their hair & those who do not.... I, who was wearing pants & dark long-sleeve t-shirt & scarf, asked, “How about what I’m wearing now? It is decent – does it covers my aurah?” He said, “Hmm.. ok, but where is your socks? Perhaps you should wear an inner too coz bits of your hairs are shown...” Ouchh! Insya-Allah I promised him that I’ll do better.... He introduced me to Rude by Magic band from Canada! His elder brother is too shy...wanna be a footballer.

I don’t want to go into details...so, here are more snippets! From the first couple of weeks...

1. 8 o’clock is too early for me to go to office... (but, but before you were here, 7:30am I’m already in the office...and I was supposed to wake you up daily for Subuh remember?)

The 1P told me that the reasons he invited her *a two times hajjah plus umrah* here were to make her closer to being a practising Muslim; you need to show a good example to her in terms prayers, reading the Quran, fasting etc. She really needs/wants to quit smoking too. 

2. You have no hot shower – the water is so cold!  (told her, you can boil some water then.. I suspected she didn’t shower for days hahaha)

3. You should do your eye brows – it is not neat! (where she comes from, used to be a French colony & you know Frenchwomen how la...)

4. You are a good housekeeper! (I know this old trick, you wanted me to continue taking care of the house with you doing nothing right?)

5. She wanted to spritz her perfume on me before we went out of the house – no-No-NO!!!  Whyyy?? You don’t like the smell? (in Islam, .. *sigh* )

6. I wanted to go sight-seeing..that is why I’m here in Malaysia despite my busy schedule at work in Montr*al ..

7. Aren’t you tired of your daily routine of house-office-house? Don’t you want to go for coffee? Meet up people? (FYI, I have a well regimented & fulfilling life of my own: get out of the office by 5pm at the very latest to beat/avoid the unnecessary heavy traffic, 5:30-6:30 at the gym twice on weekdays; 7-8pm from Mon to Thurs for the #TemanL*lakiUpahan & later added with 6:30-7pm for #SuamiS*belahRumah cum dinner; tired, be in bed with some readings & usually nod to sleep after Isya’ & wake up early the next morning..)

8. You have to get married my sister! Otherwise, one day, you woke up, you realised that you are 50 and lonely! (See, meet-up-new-people above..)

9. (Everything is ..) Fisabillah! (She was asking for a discount in buying scarves for her mom..)

10. Wallahi!! You are like my sister.. I’m a musafir!! I need you... (Erm... for 3 months - you still a musafir?)

11.  Checklist of appointments that she needed to fulfill: dentist, tailor, massuese for her frozen shoulder, health clinic on campus, optician for her eyes, etc. etc.

So, on the next weekend, I made plan to spend one whole day sightseeing in Penang with her, “We should started early in the morning, 8am at the Penang Hill, then lunch some where on the way towards Batu Feringghi for the beach view & afternoon at the Chinese New Year Celebration going on at that time at the Heritage area.”

Oh, we went out of the house AFTER 10am.. after PH - about 2 or 3pm, “I’m tired... I want to go home..” On the way home, “Don’t you want to go out for coffee?” “I can sent you there but you need to come back on your own..”  Case closed!

On Sunday, we went to Qbay .. I treated her to coffee  - it was buy 1 free 1  & for her birthday too!

Don’t forget the one other time we went to Qbay after work just to find her the most suitable haircomb! God, I surrender.... And the road driving instructions... 

The most suitable Malay proverb comes to mind: Takde pasal, cari pasal...