Self-Sabotage

Still on the topic of my so-called love- or loveless life. In case you’re thinking that my life only revolves around that Mimpi Ngeri episode – OH NO!!!

Let’s put him (MN) where he belongs ok – The Unmentionable PAST!
As for The Blast from the Past (BP) – no swaggering from you my dear, coz - well, you’re Only A Friend now…

Ok, re: Calon-calonnya…..
Status updates
No 5: The matchmaker from my side decided to withdraw the ‘offer’ to consider for My Hand-in-Marriage since the matchmaker from the other side turns to be too…how to describe eh? She asking whether I’m pretty (Yes, I am – ahaks! *muahahahahahaha*), tall, qualification etc. etc.
According to her (the matchmaker from my side), “… lainlah the prospect tu bujang, tall, dark & handsome!!! Eiiii….”.
Fine by me…

No 4 is now in my fb-friends list…hehehe…at the time where I was seen busy online – flirting & provoking, going out for date(S) and ‘scared out of my pants’ with MN’s tricks! Didn’t look good on him, do I? He gave me his number (& I gave him mine) but…Naaaahhhh (he already annoyed me)!!!!!! But continue-chatting we did every now & then, daily...
*Wave hand to 'Selamat Pagi Cinta'!!!!!!!!*

And, in case you’re thinking that my life only revolves around finding that Elusive Effigy – Naaahhhhhh…I’ve decided to keep my professional life *Ahem!* far separated from my personal ramblings here…

My loungingbythebeach&poolside@midnite-date (you know who you are *wink2*) from the other night said that I’m an INTENSE person – shall I take it as a compliment?? Hahaha….

Dignified Silence

It's hard to maintain A Dignified Silence when all I wanna say to him is:
Bugger off dude!!
Mimpi Ngeri?? MERDE!!! *pardon my french*

But, but...excusez moi, since it came from a 'daughter of a bitch' - yup, it's moi!!! That's what he said, the 'Least Incriminatory Compliments' due to me simply from 'All the Things that I DID to HIM' (????)



P/s: At time like dis, I am sure you already wonder What Did I See in Him before??? Urggghhhh......

Tuhan lebih tahu...

Salam & greetings,
I know I'm not supposed to get scared of anything, Tuhan kan menjaga hamba yang sentiasa ingat padaNya. Tapi b/mana dgn waktu2 yang I leka & lalai?

I think u know what I mean...this is just for a record!

BTW, I've increased my privacy level w.r.t him - what he can see of me in fb. Maybe I'm getting paranoid here but better be safe than sorry. Do send me private msg (email/sms etc) instead of writing on da wall ok.

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To Mimpi Ngeri,
What do you want from me? Whatever that I've wrote here, however distorted, maniacal, one-sided etc. is totally about me (& how I feel), not YOU. The people here do not know of you - in real life.

Something BIG (for me lor)..

...that happened last Sunday.

There's A Wedding.
























Which I attended only lah...not being the main participant!
*I know what you think up there!!* hehehe

Due to heaviness of my stomach that immediate followed after the consumption of The Wedding Feast (best2!), I decided to spend time at the office (nearby) instead of went back home straight to bed (urghhh!!! the temptation was too great!) and stayed VISIBLE online (which I seldomly did coz it's not safe, well..you know!)....

Only to be greeted nicely by that Blast from the Past (hereinafter labelled as BP) whom I had already deleted from my YM list. BTW, please note that he's the one who came into my life (wawawa...so dramatic!) way before the Mimpi Ngeri (MN) episode.
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Part III: Bermain Dengan Api

.....
rad: tu la you, dulu I ajak kawin taknak hahahaha
*gelak cover line ni, in case you didn't notice*
bp : i nak tapi
bp : i takut masalah kemudian hari
bp : jadi sebab tu i kata berkawan dulu
rad: sayang semuanya sudah terlambat..
*background music of the said song by Ibn*r Reza*
bp : ada jodoh tak kemana
bp : oo ye ke
bp : kita muda lagi kan
bp : ada anak at 40 masih ok
rad: untuk you jodoh you, untuk I - jodoh I ok
*dengan penuh penyerahan dan kepasrahan pada Tuhan Yang Esa*
bp : janji duit cukup untuk mereka
bp : ok
bp : oo nak lawan Tuhan ye
bp : >:)
rad: bukan
bp : tahu takut
rad: I can 'read' into the future
bp : oo bagus
bp : ajar i how to read
rad: bagi I, takkan dah ludah nak jilat balik kan-kan?
bp : mah*thir ok la jilat balik
bp : i tak ludah lagi
rad: honestly
bp : ye
rad: what happened or not happened before this
rad: nothing to do with you
rad: but I was so hurt so there're Promises I Made to Myself
bp : between u n me?
rad: nope, there wasn't 'you & me' at all
rad: I realized all along, it was only me & my problem
bp : tak faham
rad: whatever lah
rad: kita berkawan
rad: i takmo ada ruang utk salah paham
.....
_____

...that opened up A Floodgate of Strong Emotions from me. If only he knew what he's asking...

_____


As a logical, practical & rational Economic person, I know what am I doing & supposed to do next BUT..
maybe you (yes YOU, my gentle & kind reader, if any, hahahaha) can tell me a thing or two??

Bermain dengan api - Part II

Pesanan Penaja: It has come to my attention (ya-ya, finally...*sigh* thx to Andrea & AZ) that my comment box has been unabled or something. I'll see what I can do ya..
_____
Prologue:

The comment that I left on my Partner-in-crime's (a SHE) fb-wall:
...I pun kena kuar berpoya2 mlm ni *nak kasitau je sebeno2nya* hehe...I've got a date!! kansel paper, kansel jog!! (13 May)

So, on 14th May:
she: so, amacam date last nite? buat i suspen ni...
rad: Hehehe...i like!!!
rad: Bercanda di pasiran pantai after supper @mamak, lepakking on da hotel lounge with the beach in front of us & the pool at the back - wonderful sea breeze (er, someone said bayu darat lah!), we discussed the 'state of marriage' & all in between - what else? *wink2*
she: wow! wow! wow my friend..haha..u ni biar betul??? i hope ur date last nite is straight..hehe..
she: btw, saja nak cakap..i tahu la u memang adore restoran mamak tapi takkanlah dating kat situ jugak kot : P
rad: by d time I reached home, it was pass 1pm - it's worth it!! tho' Im gonna pay d price 2day as not enuf sleep..& pile up works!
rad: Psst!!! I siap goreng maggi lg b4 goin' out - taknak la appear kelaparan sgt kan..control ayu wokeh!
she: err, u mean 1am? biar betul rad...tapi tak apa, as long as u treasure it..sebagai kawan, i doakan yang terbaik utk u.. (ish, u ni betul ke main2 ni? menyampah!)
rad: I told d whole truth, and nothin but d truth!
rad: eh salah type - 1am!
she: ish ish..benefits of the doubt (macam tak caya..caya..)
rad: Well...apsal tara mau pecaya? Sungguh tau, I did all that - my jeans still wet & splattered with fine sand. Even met org Iran hehehe..one of d 2 persons there can attest to that fact here
rad: Oklah, think abt it *eceh!!!* I gotta work now....
she: haha...tunggu, i akan siasat betul2 kesahihan cerita u ni..tunggu ya ; )
____
What comes to your mind after reading that? So, rad has a (new) bf now?? Opps! You didnt know me that well....
____
In-between the prologue & epiloge episodes, me & she continued our 'online flirting/provocation'. Hehehe..totally unplanned, no specific strategies involved or any objectives. After all, we're on the same wavelength *wink2*.

Something BIG happened on Sunday, 17th May (preceding the Epilogue)... *comin' up next!!!*

Bermain dengan api kah?

Bermain dengan api? Serampang dua mata? Meghoyan???
___
Epilogue (Meghoyan kot?! daripada kata dasar: royan)

Somebody's fb status:
ppuan kalau dh belajor tinggi melangit bangunannya, mmg berlagak semacam jerkkk...menyampah tGok....citarasa tinggi la, nk setaraf la, bla...bla...bla... huhhhh...Mon 20:07

Followed by his own comments:
hasilnya....sorang2 jugak melayari bahtera kehidupan seorG andartu yg eGo tahap harimau bintang... haha 20:10
bila x paham apa yg kita pelajari, blh menyebabkan seseorg TERSALAH TAFSIR apa yg berlaku. 20:13
pegilah cari apa yg dihajatkan pada teorinya...dah kene buku dgn ruas,,, PADAN MUKA !!! eeeiiiiiiiiiiiiii, meluat luat aku tGok hinggakan nk pijak2 je kepalanya rasa.20:15
chinese said... ley ham ka channn lorrrr !!!20:16

Seseorang akhirnya telah mencelah:
sabar X .... apa masalah anda yg sebenarnya??? pm aku Bro....

Dan ini jawabnya:
xdak prob bro ! luahan rasa terhadap seorg yg bergelar `andartu` ! x sedar diri diuntung... what da bloody hell !!!
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Persoalannya: Perlukah aku terasa?? Jeng3x...

Earlier on, I was alerted by an sms: fb profile n.a. (kena godam???)? are u ok? si X ngamuk2 kat wall post. nape? (referring to the above status update)

Shud I go back to what I did in fb last week??? Hehehehe..it's getting hot 'ere - panaaaaZZZZZZZZ!!

Psst!! The Prologue will come out soon, stay tuned!!!