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Sunday morning, sometime ago.

After a heavy breakfast of nasi lemak, roti canai, maggi goreng, doughnut Big-A, kuih2 etc. (trust me - who ate it all - this is a once in a while thing!), my bro decided to give me a free demo on how to drive an auto car. Ya-ya, I know - if you can drive a manual car i.e. with gear stick, driving auto car is absolutely nothing!!
But not for moi - who never drive other cars except MAV, my sis's proton & kancils from the driving school. I've phobia towards 'new' thing!

So off we go!! La-la-la....*insert driving lesson here*

Since I'm taking the car alone to go back to my hometown later, he felt the need to show me all the way from Subang to the nearest highway until we reached the guthrie open toll plaza.

Alamakkkk!!!!

Macam mana nak bayar toll ni? (toll charge amounted to more than rm1 but less than rm2 - can't rber exactly)

Imagine, both of us in our t-shirts & track bottoms (it's a sunday morning uniform uols!), nobody remember to pick our purse or wallet or even phones (no smart tag, no TnG either - all are inside the handbag)!! AND, it wasn't our respective cars (kereta pinjam ni - long story there)!!

Cuba kau korek duit kat mana2! He said.

Searching all possible places inside the car revealed a total of 35SEN!!!!

Mana cukup! I was panicking.

Ok-ok, I know what to do - he said. After all, he had experienced it before. Once or twice.

We pull over to the side & waited for the traffic at the toll plaza to clear a bit. Then, dengan muka minta belas-ehsan he drove & stop at the drive-counter/booth:

Cik (perempuan), saya minta maaf banyak2, entah macam mana saya boleh pulak tak bawak duit blablabla..........

Ha, tuan2 & puan2 - it's ok klu kita tak bawa duit or tak cukup duit sekali pun di toll plaza. Just own up, and the person manning the booth will go out & take down the car plate no before letting us through. However, don't forget to pay within 7 days!!

And if you're lucky enough, the good samaritan manning the booth will simply let you through for free!

And if you feel really lucky that day - why not pay for the car passing behind you too!

P/s: What if we lost the toll ticket? Say, you accidently flush it in the toilet? Hmm...you tell me!
____

Sketsa kedua: During early driving lessons...(1998)

(Male) driving instructor: Hari ni, saya nak awak tukar gear tanpa pandang bawah. Bawa kereta macam biasa & mata pandang depan!

Moi: (dlm hati) macam mana nak tau kalau tak pandang! tak biasa lagi..

So, berlakulah adegan2 kena marah or was it jerkah?

Then, the driving lesson continue dlm keadaan hati yang sebal.

Until I reached a point to change the gear again. Dengan penuh bersemangat & mata memandang ke hadapan, tangan kiri ku pun meraba2 untuk tukar gear.

Tau2 aje tangan ku telah terletak elok di peha kanan instructor tu! OPSSSS!!!

He looked at me......Hahahahahahaha!!!!! (lucky it wasnt considered as sexual harassment @work!)

What a revelation!

From French - 'exposé'.
____

All sort of reactions received from my friends who know me for ages.

Like, ada yang naik darah:
"Taktau nak kata apa... bercampur-baur antara nak gelak + marah + simpati + 1001 perasaan...

Takdenya I nak pi hentam mamat tu, he's none of my concern (lantak pi kat dia lah). Yg I maksudkan kat para atas tu towards u my dear. Tapi sebab takmau menambahkan migrain I skrg ni, apa yg I mampu pesan (ringkas):

U jangan cari pasal (aka jangan cari keje kalau takde keje) / jangan desperado sgt / make urself bz with something else rather than messing/flirting around....

Adoi, poning kpla den... chow dulu.. nanti dah tenang2 I sambung berleter lagi.. tu baru intro...

P/s: I knew she cares a lot for moi!

Ramai yang hulurkan kata2 hikmah utk penyejuk rasa & jiwa:
"Allah temukan kita dgn org yg salah dahulu spy kita dpt menghargai apa yg kita miliki pd ms akn dtg... Pengalaman yg blh dijadikan iktibar..."

"hmm, ..tak sangka you termasuk dalam perangkap macam tu walaupun you memang dah beringat2..alhamdulillah, berkat rahmat ALLAH ..Allah lindung you dari perkara macam tu..macam hampir2 je kan?
tapi i percaya, itu semua ujian Allah untuk kita..kena lebih hati2 ni..tapi i harap, jangan sampai u tak percayakan lelaki ya ; )
insyallah, kalau ada jodoh..tak ke mana kan? harap u jaga diri baik2, hidup di perantauan ni..lain sikit gayanya..."

"I am so sorry you have to go thru such heartache but Alhamdullillah nothing major happens. Maybe one of this day I might have your courage and share some of my stories (mind you, stories not story k.)
I pray Allah swt will always look after you in your everyday life and undertakings. Amin"

"its ok to gain a lesson out of this....at least this can be a lesson to everyone of us...am i right??...but i really hope that one day u will find your own sweet mr right..insyaAllah.....Do pray for us all as well..hehehe
kita kena berusaha...on-going process (never end) sampai la berjumpa insyaAllah dengan seseorang yang betul2 boleh dijadikan suami :)"

"… and thanks for the story.. for myself, I am very2 susah nak percaya kat org lelaki ni that is why I never berkenalan or chatting dgn org2 yg tak dikenali… tu la pasal masih single kot hahaha… as what people said, jgn kawin sbb desperado or for the sake of kawin jer… cewahh…"

Ada yang dok pikiaq apakah motif sebenarnya?
"Terkejut jgk baca ur email ni. But anyway many thanks to u, coz u nak jgk share ur experience as teladan to us.
Nasib baik u tersedar awl2, klu u masih lagi bermimpi, x tau la apa akan jadi kat u.
Pengajaran yg i dpt from ur experience tu, kita org pompuan ni jgn terlalu mudah percaya sgt kat lelaki, kena study jgk pasal lelaki yg nak kwn ngn kita ni, bak kata u tu, kdg2 diorg nak ambik kesempatan je. Susah nak cari org yg jujur ngn kita.

Nasib baik ur ustazah & her husband (experience people) "can see who he is"
By the way, i x phm kenapa dia begitu cepat nak ajak u kawin? apa motif dia sebenar nya?"

P/s: Motif ajak kawin cepat? Ha, bila dah sah akad-nikah baru bgtau, apa je yg kita pompuan ni boleh buat? esp klu dah tgadai? Maruah nak jaga. Malu pd org kpg & keluarga. Sure, terima je dgn linangan air mata kan?? Sadis sungguh....

"Aku rasa lah dia ni ada niat tak baik la....maksud aku tujuan dia nak berkahwin dua tu..bukan sekadar nak kahwin....aku rasa macam nak menumpang je....wallahualam la kan...."

"Aku rasa, mamat ni gersang kot...ye lah, bini pi letak kat Melaka, dia kerja kat KL...mana tak gersangnya. Ada bini + anak2 letak jauh2, apa jenis orang macam ni!?"

Ramai yg tak percaya:
"is this really happening to u kak or this is just a story to share?"

" Oh dear...
why things like this keep on happening to you................
maybe you r only looking at other side not the one near to you......
lucky u got to know early......thank god.......
..takes thing easy and learn frm mistake"

P/s: She's non-muslim. I never question why-it-happened-to-me.

"Is this your true story or someone else's? But whose ever it is, I totally agree with the part yg kahwin for the sake of nak kahwin. As a matter of fact, my best friend during school pun pernah advised one of our closest friend abt the very same thing. If it's your story, my prayers for you that one fine day you'll meet the right man for you.. Allah knows best."

Ada yang dah jangka awal2 lagi:
"My dear, i mcm dah agak that he's planning to take u as his 2nd (or ntah ke berapa) wife from the beginning of ur story on ur email. Good thing u managed to get out of that!"

Ada yang ambil sebagai sempadan:
"Boleh x i share story ni dgn kawan2 i yg lain..it seems bnyak pedoman and kawan2 i pun ramai lagi yg masih single..."

P/s: That is why I finally decide to bare it all here...

"Hmmm....what I should say to u is...Bijak...!!!!
Tak ambil keputusan yang drastik and I can't imagine kalau u betul2 dah kawin and found out bout dia dah kawin tu...
Iktibar juga buat yang dah kawin....Tak boleh percaya suami 100%....
One thing rad...u're such a nice person, someday u'll meet a perfect guy for you....
Insyallah.......Sedih baca nukilan u tu.."

And, The Exposé!!!
#(1) through a looooong phone call from a galfren

#(2)
"Syukurla bila tak sampai ke next level. Jahat betul la this guy. Is he XY bin XY? Phone # 01xxxx6060? If dia XY, dia memang pnah cal F, dia kacau I kat fb n pnah cal aku tp aku malas nak angkat. Tak tau dia dpt no dr siapa."

P/s: Guys, pls help by not simply giving out our numbers to others. Let the owner do that if they want to.

and #(3) thru conversation with a guy from the same school.

So, I say ample warning is given: One single mis-step boyo - you're IT!!
All my 'networkings' turn out to be useful after all...

Terjaga daripada mimpi nan ngeri

Caveat: Ini adalah nota peribadi. Ditujukan khas utk 'single ladies' bagi dijadikan sempadan & utk teman2 yg sudah berbahagia dgn pilihan masing2 yang mungkin mahu membantu dalam matchmaking. "Tolong kami....bantu kami....." (insert b/ground music: lagu P.Ramlee)
____

I hate to share this experience of mine. If I could turn back time, I simply want to erase the whole 22-day episodes & purge it all from my memory. But somehow there’s a lesson to be learn for you & me (Yo-yo! Singles United!). About ikhtiar, redha, tawakkal & yakin pada janji-janji Allah.

I met this guy thru fb – interesting eh? But really no surprise there. He was an exschoolmate of mine though we never talk to each other. He initiated the 1st contact but I was the one who started the chat. Being online made me more brave than ever in person (mistake #1). So the flirting begun… Looking back now, it looked like we simply hit on each other.

Being experienced in dating (bleh!) & past relationships, I thought I already cover all the bases – single status established thru direct enquiry plus discreet ‘investigative works’. One thing, he kept on reminding me not to share about our ‘relationship’ with my girlfriends (& guys) from the same school (mistake #2). I thought it was so sweet of him – maybe to surprise them later? On my part, since nothing might come out of this so ok lah…

From fb to phone calls, smses & chatting – I was being bombarded day & night with such lovely words – he called himself abg & me as syg…(ramai2 sila: Euwwww!!!) How he really like me since Form 1 (makcik caiiiirrrr sgt dah part ni – mistake #3). We made arrangement for a weekend date. Imagine – he traveled all the way to PP just to see moi!! (makcik lemah lutut! – mistake #4 – help him in making the arrangement. Dengan ini, saya bersungguh2 taubat daripada keluar dating dengan sebarang lelaki selepas ini. HARAM. No compromise.)

The nature of his work (lil’ spying/undercover work involved) & his extraordinary high amount of self-confidence applied to susceptible-moi through reverse psychology like telling me all his sad, sad stories of struggle in life (& how fortunate I am!), the bad things he did (drugs included) but he never, ever done a girl (not for the lack of trying) – all combined together to impress me - he did. He worked so hard to understand me & I was simply blown away (Er minah gersang kah? Mistake #5).

Luckily, I still have the presence of mind to refer to my ‘Ustazah’. Since we’ve discussed everything about marriage (and he wanted it to be soon, ASAP!) so I preferred to think of him meeting my ustazah as a test of his determination. I did groom him on what are the possible questions that she might asked, gave him background details of the family etc. including specifically not to smoke in front of her as she’s very particular. (Big mistake #6. Previously, I’ve this high standard for my future husband: He must be a non-smoker. Due to the pressure of getting married (the clock is ticking! He reminded me again & again – what a fool I am!) I let it lax…)

To smoke or not to smoke? It may seems a small thing in terms the general scheme of life decisions. Bear in mind, he smoke consistently in front of me even after I told him off. And he said only 2 ciggies a day?? Our religious scholars (Al-Azhar) had decreed smoking as haram due to the scientifically proven bad effects on health & also society in general. If he is not being responsible to himself (in terms of maintaining healthy body etc.) then could you imagine him being responsible to other people or any other aspect of life? (I rest my case NOW).

The meeting went well – so I thought…But the outcomes were: (the ustazah said) her husband couldn’t even give him a single mark as a potential husband material, the daughter (enuf) said, “Poyonya…bising2 je (as in byk cakap)” & the son said, “Tua lah..” In the middle of the meeting, (he was at the dinner table, enjoying bowl of mee kari) she suddenly asked, “Kau ni dah pernah kawin ke belum?” I was thinking, tak perlu lah soklan tu kan …. Of course, he straight away answered NO. On reflection, she said he started to sit sideways. And dah tak lalu makan. (Mistake #7: Should’ve learn how to detect when a person is lying). He also paid NO attention at all to the three kids present (ciri2 lelaki yg dah kawin – penat dah kot layan anak sendiri).

Post-meeting, we met again. He argued his case again for us to be married ASAP. I asked simply, “Ada duit ke nak kawin? Saya ni anak dara orang bukan janda wokeyy..” And, “ Ada duit ke nak bagi nafkah lepas kawin?” (FYI, he just started working under government with S*M qualification – not to undermine him but lets face reality, are we?) “So, tak payah ceritalah pasal kawin sekarang…” but lets plan for the future..

Back in PP, he kept messaging me – wanting to pinang me ASAP. (Previously, he kept inviting himself to my hometown to meet my mother – I said NO!) To cut short the story, the ustazah’s hubby asked for his address(es). Thus, when I asked him, he was taken by surprise, “Tak pernah abg kena investigate sampai macam ni…pelik la” then out came The Confession:

“sebenarnya, saya ni sudah berkahwin, mempunyai 4 org anak, seorang isteri berumur 32 tahun dan diorg menetap di melaka. berkahwin pd tahun 199*, 25 July”

And my calm reply:

Minta maaf byk2
rasanya saya dah jelaskan awal2 lagi
saya tak berminat dgn hak org
Mohon halallah segala makan minum & maaf utk segala silap & salah.
Tolong jgn hubungi saya lagi. Klu sekadar berkawan, cukup lah di fb.

The End.
_____

On my part, I’m really grateful to Allah – for saving me from making a fool of myself, to involve in a major catastrophe with dire consequences! Imagine, klu dah kawin baru tau? Mau pengsan mak di kampong. I feel bad as it is thinking of The Wife & 4 Kids…
Astaghfirullahal’azim….ampunkan saya Ya Allah! (telah bersedekah, sujud syukur & insyaAllah berpuasa seperti yg disarankan)

Take home lessons for today:

1. Jangan terdesak (desperado!) – kawin for the sake of kawin je.
2. Jangan membelakangkan keluarga & rakan yg telah lama kita kenal.
3. Jangan langgar perintah agama.
4. Yakinlah janji Allah: lelaki yg baik utk wanita yg baik. Klu tak di dunia mungkin di akhirat jodoh kita.
5. Ikhtiar dgn cara yg betul.
6. Berpegang teguh pada prinsip.
7. Saling ingat-mengingat sesama teman - ramai yg cuba ambil kesempatan
8. Learn from experience

Terima kasih Pencuri!!!

Monday, early morning - I regretfully fb-announced the lost of my relatively new white-grey-&pink-girly sport shoes (my mistake – left it outside & overnite for airing) after serving moi for only a month!?

Now, the Shoe Thief left me with no other choice except to go ahead & buy that (almost) RM300 & made-of-leather shoes!! Wroarrrr!! Expensive for sure!!!

Ops, ok – lets start again.

Last Sunday, for the first time, I went for a jogwalk at the Kebun Bunga. But, I’ve been consistently jog (okey-okey, brisk walk if you prefer to call it that way) in & around campus, or at the lakeside, a couple of times during weekdays or weekend – so that good sporty shoes are really important to me. The old ones that I’ve had been using are so worn out, after more than 2 & a half year of usage, such that the right hand side sole is in danger of breaking apart… On the occasion of a new place & new jog-buddy(s), I thought – I deserved a replacement!

Since I’ve just moved here, at The Island– no salary yet – I couldn’t see myself wasting my Mak’s Precious-Given $$ unnecessarily. So, even if my heart yearn for that Dark & Handsome Shoes which is made of genuine & full leather & very costly – after much look around with my personal shopper cum advisor at the Queen’s Mall – I had to settle for that non-measly & still costly RM69.90 rubber & synthetic girly ones with a promise to wait for the next sale (put permanently marker on the Store) & have to remind myself to set aside some $$ from now on - for that Handsome One. Not that I had ever buy a whatever-shoes which cost me more than RM150! *dilemma*

Why would I be a sucker for that Handsome One? Well, back when I was doing my 1st degree – during one of the winter student gathering, they organized a jungle trekking somewhere in Wales. Came totally unprepared, but don’t want to miss the opportunity to traverse the backwater & mountain area, I had to buy a suitable shoes on the spot! Couldn’t be bother with the price – well, it was still relatively cheap there anyway. And, wearing that shoes – it felt so heavenly – so light (winter shoes are heavier), I was flying!! Trodding upon the countryside, with unexpected flakes (or was it ??) falling…..making merries with friends – loads of them..

Fast forward a good 6, 7 years after that, the shoes had served me (& one peminjam at least) on alternate days of (real) jog at the stadium track or in training. Too bad, as I tend to take things for granted & simply assumed that everybody is kind blablablah…..I left the shoes in the ho(s)tel (alongside other personal things too) during one semester break (already started my 3rd degree by then). I guess, someone chance upon & took one look at them thus thought, “..how nice the shoes will shod his/her feet during gutter-cleaning etc.!”

P/s 1: BTW, where are the infamous monkeys of the Kebun Bunga? None to be seen at all. I was desolate. The one & only monkey we saw earlier, half-way to Kebun Bunga, was coolly crossing the road using the electric cable!

P/s 2: If, and only if, I ever get my hand on that Handsome One, he gonna ‘sleep’ with me on the other side of the door! *In the mean time, had to mend my old ones lor..or no jog at all?*

P/s 3: Hear ye, hear ye!! I cast a spell from here, now & after, that the Shoe Thief’s Whatever-Shoes will cause him/her an eternal discomfort, gangrene, bisul, cagu (muahahahaa!!) & thus Smelliest Feet over the Seven Seas!!!
*Told ya, don’t mess with me*
Unless s/he repent..(no need to return my shoes back coz it will be smelly & infectious too)

P/s 4: If you thought that I purposely ‘entice’ the Shoe Thief – Teett!! Sorry you’re dead wrong – I live in a ‘gated community’, end of the road. There’s only 12 mini-apartment for mostly singles in the 3-storey block. The family with 3 kids downstairs left a whole rack of shoes outside their door. Not even the three resident-doggies which kind of adopt themselves (but very respectful of us-human) around are interested!