One

Drafted in 20130114 - It is been quite some time now since the last update.

On my quest for The One..

One (though not The One as mentioned above) has got married to a beautiful lady, according to my friend’s friend in another institution up north. I saw the couple photo *coz I still keep his no as I think of us as friends & mostly we are colleague* Wish him the very best of wedded life!

Two, I met him face to face recently through the one who introduced us. I bet he did not remember what he did *more like DID NOT do* to me. He’s doing ok to. Still a single guy.

Three, he’s still into movies  - more into blueray now. And still searching too.

Four, I keep his no but I’m not sure he has mine coz he just went missing from BBM – maybe my lack of response explained it…still alone too!

Five, I’m sure he is happy too now, much happier perhaps with more than 1 kid. Finally, I’m free of him. No more stalking his whereabouts and such. I thank God all the time and him too for the lesson learnt the hard way.

The married colleague who proposed – our situation kinda awkward til now coz I still could not forget. If we have to then I tried to work to a minimum level with him…thank God I’m not interested in getting myself promoted to a position which basically put me in position as his immediate superior hahaha! *but I was nominated, according to some*

The married classmate who lied to me – I have had the 20^th year celebration without him. I worked hard as one of the committee members so that justified my personal request not to have him around!

And then, I thought I might have the One within grasp – maybe, finally… - only that he doesn’t realised it yet! It’s ok, I pray to God that one day *before it’s too late* he will change his mind and I will be waiting.. In the mean time, I let him trifles with my heart…which has been broken too many times already! I will not be waiting forever coz it’s not fair to me and I’m not playing games here..I pray that God will make me a stronger person in the months to come.

Unperturbed

*konon!*

The arrangement for the unit, in terms of making it ready for moving in, is really a trying times (still) for me. Yes, I bought it upon suggestion and recommendation from my future next-door-neighbour cum colleague. She and her hubby did all the ground works and most of the times even drove me to the meetings at the developer's and lawyer's office respectively. In the early days, during the excitement of planning for our respectively future abodes, we make promises together that was to renovate the front entrance together, extend the position of the box-grill further out on the pathway, which is possible given that it leads only to our corner units.

Then, we got the letter asking us to collect keys in early March. I collected my keys on March 18th, Monday. Arranged to meet an interior designer (let's keep it short to ID hereinafter - not that I really intend for her to design the deco for the whole 850 sq ft huh) by the following Tuesday. She came out with the design for kitchen cabinets and built-in wardrobes for the two smaller rooms by Thursday. By Saturday, we were already at the unit to do the measurement and I committed to her company by paying the 60% deposit/initial payment by the following week.

In between, I made further visit to the unit & to the developer's office to report some re-work to be done for cement-cracked in both wall of the two smaller rooms and few other small things including one window and at the balcony area. The document for renovation wasn't ready yet until much later. By end of March, I was already at the lightings & fixtures shop - upon recommendation of my ID (I'll explain my full trust in her later) and committed myself to furnish the whole units with whatever forms of suitable lightings (for 12-14 points) and 5 fans in total - paid 1/3 in terms of deposit & the shop promises to hold it in stock/storage for up to 4 months!

Then, the headache starts..
One with the developer - it's stated in the legal document that for renovation works involving internal contractor appointed by the developer, we need to pay RM2K deposit, which will be returned two months after the renovation is done. But, for reno works involving external contractor we have to pay RM5K deposit and it will only be returned 12 months after the reno is done. Oh, the unfairness of it!!!  Just because nothing is mentioned in the document about appointing external contractor, the developer has now the rights to determine/dictate the terms and conditions for doing renovation. Not only that, the so-called internal contractor now are demanding extra payment up to RM1.2K for using the lift and the so-called garbage collection! In actual fact, we, the buyer are already making the monthly maintenance payment 3 months in advance since March! Is that not more than enough to cover the usage of the lift by our ext contractor (who are ever willingly to settle the problem of reno garbage by dumping it at the garbage area)? Someone shared (in our group chat) that even for his lorry to deliver modules bought from factory outlets, they charge RM500 for using the lift! Someone in the developer's office advice for me & others too to wait it out for one year then only we move in...because the so-called internal contractor cum gengster aka kongsi gelap get control of the project ONLY for this important one year! I'm sick of this happening, almost unbelievable...I'm more than willing to pay for any services rendered but not for protection money as demanded!

Second, given that the ID is pushing for me to proceed with my reno project, I needed to make sure that the grill & such are put in place - for safety maa (scared that int contractor might want to sabotage my unit)... So, I asked (once) my neighbour, sharing my predicaments, stating that I want to move in swiftly i.e as soon as possible etc. and she said, "Be patient Rad, patience..." I have my reasons to move in fast & I really wanted to! During further visits to the unit with other colleagues, they gave the opinion that I have the right to go ahead with the reno work including grill installment  and even the int contractor (standard design for grill  & awning works - there's really no other options) said that they can do it for me - still sharing the extended box-grill but she can do her share of it anytime later. Upon supports from them, I called again to ask permission from her for me to proceed and she gave it reluctantly with promises to do it nicely! Actually, the design & such are standard coming from int contractor - I can only choose the tiles color! Which I said to be similar to the current tiles at the entrance.

Problem is now she's not talking to me! And we are to be neighbours!!! Our doors are inches apart separated by a mere wall! *sigh* What can I do? She's avoiding me entirely at our work place, if we meet by chance at the ladies, she ignored me. During event at lunch recently, I stopped at her table to ask about her mom's condition (she said: ok!) and her whereabout recently since I didn't see her around for quite some time (she said: I was around!) and that was it! *giving me a look that make me  standing there really uncomfortable & stupid, felt like ungratefull chit too!)* And just for the record, this is the second time I had it coming..which make me real sad..I pray to God, grant me the strength to be her neighbour..may Allah opens her eyes too!

I really pray for Allah to open the eyes of another colleague too. She accused me of something that I for sure didn't do! But I am guilting of something else which I couldn't explain to her given that it could jeopardise my other friend. She was saying, there's no use praying 5 times a day if I were so busy announcing her personal details to the Boss (which I did NOT!),  that I should just asked her if I'm that interested in her personal life (HELL-OOO???? In which parallel universe that she's living now?)

And that personal observation of hers spill over to our work & professional  commitments. Alas...the dreaded meeting, headed by the Boss, was over last Thursday - earlier on, I prayed to God to grant me the serenity, for me to keep my coolness and not be disturbed by anything she said or did. Honestly, I find it quite difficult to pretend that nothing has happen in front of other people and to just smile to her...I asked for her forgiveness, I pray that God forgive me too and I told her I did not want to talk about it ever again! I cried & just cried...she hugged *speechless* me saying that why am I taking it personally, why would I cry if I'm not guilty, of course I would want to defend myself blablabla, my trial (from her) isn't as bad as those faced by the Palestinians etc. etc. I was so angry at myself for allowing her to continue bullied me - this was the second time - for the record - last time she also 'discussed' things with me and honestly I want  nothing to do with her any more - Nada! Zilch!

Help me God...protect me from these people that I couldn't handle (I can feel the negative vibes coming from them)..forgive me if I intentionally did them any harm in anyway but please, please separate us far apart from having any things  to do together, aamiinnnn...

So much on my mind..

..thus, I need to keep a diary again - so many things to learn & I'm afraid I'll make the same mistakes over and over again (which I need to avoid to do so).

1. The meeting to elect the new committee members for the unofficial welfare body was held today. I wasn't aware of the politics involved in electing the members. To me, as long as I served my time to this day I don't really care who got elected. But alas, things are not as simple or straight as that...there's always a motive behind every moves and each and every one of it are interlinked. P/s: I know now I can never play chess or poker!

2. I headed a section meeting yesterday. Halfway thru, one of the members simply collapsed to the side. Thank God, she did manage  to mention earlier to us girls (before the two guys joined in) that she's been taking emergency leaves for the past two weeks in order to get treated for - I do not know how to actually say this in English - 'disturbance from the unseen' (perhaps?). She's having the symptoms for the past two months. At first, she thought, it was the usual culprit - you know, our monthly - but then she's losing sleep at night & to the extent of affecting her marital relationship (whatever that means since, er, I am not supposed to know) with the husband. So, she's been going the mosque to get treatment, even as far as KL to meet the famous local Ustaz (she fainted in the room when came face to face with the Ustaz) but that things keep coming back. It seems that she was having the disturbance  too during the drive to main office building (her office is elsewhere) and while the meeting is ongoing (her legs getting numb - one of the symptoms) too so she started to recite the Ayatul Kursi before she collapsed..

I was really hopeless when it came to this kind of things. Somebody called the varsity ambulance. Somebody else called the Ustaz from the varsity's mosque. I called one of the other colleagues upstairs with instruction for her to call anyone to help...and I stayed by her side almost throughout the incident. Er, eventually later I thought of calling the husband & by that time he's already on the way - it seems that someone else got to it earlier. The emergency teams came in & looked at the situation - asking kinda silly questions like can she stand up? If she can smile already, there is no need for the ambulance service..honestly, there's nothing much that they can offer in term of treatment except for some tranquillizing shot perhaps?

I do not know how to describe her situation really, she passed out, started making keening or wailing voice (really scary, everyone outside experiencing goosebumps!), then she came to herself, before passing out again & the cycles repeated. Throughout the time, my Chinese colleague asked me, "Baca Rad, baca Rad!) She meant for me to recite the verses from the Quran. Another male colleague & one of the deputy dean came in too & joined me in reciting the verses. He asked me (if I dare to) to hold one of the toes while reciting the verses. Honestly, I wasn't too sure what was the verses that were most suitable in such 'occasion' - so I just recited the al Fatihah, the 3 Quls, Ayatul Kursi, syahadah etc. again & again. I have to confess that I kinda forgot some the verses too, nauzubillah...
I wasn't that brave but I have had the experience of histeria during my secondary boarding school years - so that gave me the sense to be there & not running away in other direction.

The ustaz came in & recited more verses from the Quran (meaning Ayatul Kursi, 3 Quls are perfectly acceptable) and make long doa. She's keening louder & making strange sound... (To be continued)

What I need to remember for now:
1. Emergency leave (EL) is not good in terms of end of year appraisal - if possible, apply for leave before hand - if I had too, never take/apply EL for more than 3 consecutive days. If I had too, split  into 3 days, 2 days and so forth.
2. As the section head, I should have asked for clarification earlier when she's been away on EL for the last two weeks. Er, I did ask her on May 7th, and she gave a vague reply  - a family member sickness.