Monday, April 2nd - It was that time of the year again. We took the time and had come (two busses) all the way by boat for lunch at the J-Island Resort when it was announced that it was also a certificate presentation ceremony for HOD's Award for last year performance. My marks were a bit lower compared to the one for 2010 - I'm still thankful given that I had nothing published last year - but I still get recognised for the menial (however petty) works that I have done. Almost all of my colleagues whether academic or support staff got the same recognition too. Mind you, all that we got was just a certificate - not even boxed set of pens like last year.
But someone did not get the recognition. Maybe the way our performance being measured are biased to a certain extent depending upon who were the assessors. The 1st assessor for my section gave everyone a high mark! So it was really not a true measure of our relative performance..
At the varsity level, those top 12 performers from each department were treated to a special lunch as well as RM1000 each! However, those 12 was split into two - half quotas for academic and support staff respectively. For the support staff, everyone was of the mutual understanding that just wait for your turn (seniority or something), eventually you will get it! But for the academics, it is a totally different games altogether....I know some got it because they really deserved it, one got it again after almost 20 years *sigh* but then there are those...
Another thing worth mentioning here, last time the varsity used to give these top performers a pay rise (gaji naik menegak instead of the annual horizontal increase)!
My point of contention is why that person who-did-not-get-recognised shamelessly said this to my face: "Alah...setakat jadi AJK itu-ini pun boleh dapat cemerlang..."
At least, I still did my part - contributed to the school right?
All I know now, avoid her, ignore her - for my peace of mind!
Since I'm grumbling my dissatisfaction here, might as well include others whom I need to be alert to too:
1. There is this one particular guy, who is head of one of the varsity's Islamic club. There is this one other guy who is his deputy who is very much involved in giving talks on religious issues as well as others. On April 26th, one of my colleague's 18 yo son passed away - he had heart problem, doctor told the family that he had only a 6 seconds chance to be saved if ever he had a heart attack again. He went swimming with friends and were found almost drown in the water. All of us played a role in giving out moral supports from the hospital's morgue up to the burial ceremony. This guy (that i mentioned earlier) felt the need to told me (as chair of staff welfare club) what to do next - arrange for a special prayer session blablabla....when arrangement was already being made upon suggestion by others. But when it came to appointing the imam to lead the prayers, he said he got something else to do! So, the second guy came to the rescue... Funny thing is, he was still around during the prayer session! I had the impression, given that this is not the first time this thing happened, I definitely need to be careful around him....It took one other person last time to point out that I, as the conference secretary, was doing his treasurer's job!! And on the 3rd day of the conference, he simply excused himself from attending the closing ceremony and stay in the hotel for no obvious reasons at all...
2. This other person is supposedly a good friend of mine. I know, we have to accept everyone's quirks and everything but I find it hard to accept her behaviours when she pressured me for information about others and at the same time question why I am close with such-and-such, if a certain person is with me, she don't want to be around etc. which is basically putting me between a rock and a hard place! Yes, she is much senior than me, but does she need to always look down upon me? As if whatever she's doing is important but not mine? She had the cheek to say that the conference that I helped to organize last year of no quality!!! Damn!!! Didn't she know the amount of efforts that went into it? Obviously not...*sigh*
Moral of the story here, being assertive is way much different from being aggressive! And I very much suspected that she falls into the second category while I definitely need to up my assertiveness! Try not to be a pushover rad!
3. Ten weeks refer to the time it took to heal a broken heart - NOT!! I'm simply counting the days....I admit, I miss him very much! There wasn't a day that goes by where I didn't think of him..a quick glance at the building where he works is sufficient to put me in a melancholic mood. But at the end of the day, do remember rad, he dumped you!!! Remember what he said, after all the explanation, "..we're done, ..things are not meant to be.. and I don't want to see you anymore."
What else for me to do? I have called, smsed and emailed him to explain what had happened but alas there wasn't any room for communication. Lesson learnt the hard way - I'm such a hypocrite, so full of righteousness, blablabla... thanks to him!
But I still 'like' you, do you know that? *cue music: I wish nothing but the best for you!" Do let me know when you finally meet that one-in-millions: An Honest Woman! *gasp!!!*
Funny eh? *my heart is not in synchronize with my head*
