What went well (1) today..

Masya Allah & alhamdulillah...
1. The end of tadarus went well, considering it was the first time we did it at the work place - more participants next year hopefully given that we prepared pack-food including trifle which I lovingly cooked yesterday haha..contributions by others - quite unexpected! As always, need to be prepared for the unexpected... have extra packs please next time &offer the opportunity to others too.

This is the procedure on how we did the khatam:
a) Read together (instead of one by one) so faster..
b) Started with Al Fatihah, followed by the 22 surahs from Ad Dhuha until An Nas, then Al Fatihah again and the 1st 5 verses of Al Baqarah (kinda come to a complete endless circle); interspersed in between with Lailahaillahu wallahuakbar..
c) Read the khatam ayat from Al Anfal, #?? 3 times
d) Recitation of dua' in Arab & Malay
e) Nasyid Kh*tam Quran
f) Shaking hands & lotsa hugs around

Stricter rules next time, finishing by 17th Ramadhan, follow-up more often!

2. Another PhD candidate no more...she graduated as in passed her viva today - also cemerlang alhamdulillah coz we shared the same supervisor & external examiner & she's given 3 months too (initially 1 month!) I'm so happy for her coz I felt guilty for not doing enough as I'm in her disertation committee..

3. What you give, you get back...I said nice things & he said it too - we're both busy working ppl!

4. I managed to remember & show my appreciation to those colleagues aka friends who always help me..by my cakes again!

5. When I kept on reminding myself always (esp. today) to do things for the sake of Allah, not for showing off to people, Allah opens the way in so many things....Allahuakbar!

6. True test of friendships..we are back on talking terms again alhamdulillah.. not as good as before but good enough for me..

7. I'm alive, I'm busy...thank you Allah.

Checklist of preparation for 1434H Eid!

1. To reach home @Nesmilan safely:
a) TnG reloaded to cover return journey as well as a second card for the Bridge/ as a spare too;
b) PKE sent for service already (30K service even if mileage of around 20K after 2 years..) included tyre rotation too since the front tyre on the passenger's side had punctured twice (all at Bali2)
c) To check for speed trap & whereabout of AES cameras!
d) Petrol full tank - checked

2. Attires
a) Prayer clothes - new from Vietnam! Need to wash though..
b) Kurungs made by my tailor in Gelugor - matching headscarves?
c) To check for the colours of kurungs made by my tailor at hometown - which headscarves again?
d) Jubah for tarawih - the last 10 days - at the mosque insya Allah...
e) Shoes & sandals?
f) Etc. inc. toiletries

3. Food
a) Plan to bake choc-cheese cake & trifle as usual - ingredients packed?
b) Kuih raya for mak & kak
c) Serunding for my sifu@U*M - planning to drop by for a discussion on the way back home
d) Bring along perishables from my fridge! Including acar buah.
e) Collect all cookies ordered? Suriya RM163++; Su RM??; Tini RM70

4. Cash/Duit raya sorted?
a) Mak
b) No-longer-working bro & sisters
c) 30 nephews & nieces minus 3 working ones; minus 3 in Malacca
d) Convocation's present? To be considered
e) Colleagues' kids - selected ones; selected friends' kids
f) Neighbours - elderly ones esp mak's closed friends & kids perhaps? Extra packets prepared?
g) Zakat fitrah paid myself - only RM7
h) Infak: 10% of salary insyaAllah done & distributed
i) Cash-in-hand for unexpected expenses?

5. Dua' List for 10 Days of Ramadhan 1434H
a) May Allah forgive all of our sins & may we come out at the end of Ramadhan  fresh & cleanse inside & out & a much better person too!
b) May Allah grant my mak longer time in this world & strong health too..and keep the family together
c) May Allah fulfill my heart desire - open up his heart to fully accept me the way I am & may Allah give me lots strength & patience to keep waiting for the time to come (if he is best for me, else..)
d) May Allah allow me to pursue my career further, juggling it alongside my family & friends ( esp. him) & allow me to stay healthy by running, jogging, hiking, aerobic & everything.. plus lotsa chance to travel and see this world (conferences hehe!)
e) May Allah  allow me to teach patiently & wholeheartedly, able to motivate some if not all of my students so that they will all succeed & aim higher insya Allah
f) May Allah give him the best of everything in this life & hereafter- he deserves to be happy
g) May Allah keep me in Islam, stay faithful to Him & only Him alone..aamiiinnnn

6. Apartment on standby mode
a) Inform the guard house & Linda-the-neighbour
b) Switch off the gas (non-ori head as told by Alan@BJ on Saturday, 27th July - so I always need to switch off the supply-halfway after cooking)
c) Check all doors & windows - double padlock for the entrance grill
d) Spare keys - remember where did I hide them? haha! One sets in PKE too...
e) Anything else? Hmm...

What went wrong 1

I hold on to this thought: whatever is left unsaid won't hurt people & it's definitely better that way.

I have lost track of the number of times he said things that hurt me - not that I am counting - but however i want him to care about me, I see this as signs of him not caring enough, as in I am not good enough for him now & in the future.

The reason why i do what i did is simply out of love - I want him to stay healthy by not smoking. Yes, I've been nagging him, emailing from time time to time & he could have just deleted all those emails @ simply told me to quit. 

But, menyampah-sampah?