The ones that got away...

Same old, same old stories...

Earlier in late December last year or was it earlier January this year, when my mak was around with me for 5 weeks in Penang:

1. An ustaz through another married ustaz is looking for his candidate. Age late 40-s. Reason of being single due to taking care of his mother who recently passed away -  Innalillah.....

Location: in Kedah

The matchmaker is non-willing colleague who was approached by another middle person on behalf of the married ustaz - I suspected from their joined community projects which I was involved somehow - to a limited extent. She said, here is an unmarried person looking for a wife so please contact the married ustaz - she's not interested to continue the efforts of being a go-between.

Based on the hp number, I contacted the married ustaz saying I agreed to get to know the other party. Guess what? He was shocked!!!! It took him quite sometime to respond to my message - must be he is not used to a direct female.

Fast forward, it was during intensive weeks (Jan/Feb) at work when the other party wanted to come & meet - again, the matchmaker was reluctant anyway since she planned to be away immediately after for quite some time. That was the end of it.

2. Prof that I worked with and know a lot about my stories - don't worry, we're not having an affair as per dirty mind of my colleague - we work together along with another production assistant who know a lot about my stories too. I remember, around the time I told my mak about the ustaz, Prof called me around Maghrib and said he was having tea time with his wife and somehow conversation about me being not married came out and his wife knows of one teacher in her school whose wife passed away due to sickness and how he himself taking care of the small children who are really in need of a mom.

He's very kind but shy.

Location: Perai

I said ok and on the next day, Prof called me and asked when am I ready to meet the other party? I said, I'm ok - any time subject to the other party wants to meet of course. Then Prof said, his wife said better meet up soon (aka that week) since once school reopen in January (the following week) he'll be busy as a teacher and fathering his kids.

Cut short the story, no nothing came from his side - I understood that he is not interested lah..

Fast forward to yesterday, during phone conversation, Prof mentioned that he, the widower, already got married to a PAR at his school whose husband passed away too and have children who now even call him 'Cikgu' at home. Alhamdulillah syukur.. I am happy for him.

____

Fast forward to early to mid-September this year:

My sister #5 played matchmaker - she suggested for me to get to know her coworker-at-school's husband's colleague who used to work in Seremban  but now back in AS*tar.

I was reluctant... not because he is much older (54) but I'm tired of getting to know people and my heart broken to smithereens again and again. I have K*puteh now - he's my baby - my life is complete! Even mak accepted him and referred to him as my anak. I have my family esp mak, work to take care of my basic needs, career that is demanding (was appointed as Business Coordinator from mid March) and I don't even have time to slot in my running much more to sign up for events!

Against my wishes. since I asked him to answer 4,5 questions through the middle person, my sister gave my hp no to him. So, he messaged me late Thursday evening and I just responded accordingly. Conversations were stilted - stopped by Friday morning due to me having a seminar. He only came out for air on later Satuday evening - which I replied on late Sunday evening - eve of Eidul Adha. I thought - that was it!

4. Earlier on that same Friday, I talked to my matchmaker colleague who called me earlier on  Tuesday, "Rad!!!! Jodoh you dah sampai...Dat*k Rad!!!" She was excited - I was having no feeling at all - told her I wanted to think about it. So, on Friday noon, I told her - no, I'm not interested to know this guy - coz to my mind, not fair to get to know another guy while I'm in the process of getting to know 54. Oh, this Dat*k guy is 52. 52 is a divorcee which 3 adult kids, and an future alumni of my work place but not directly under me. It seemed that he simply called her & asked her to help him find a candidate. Should I be touched that my colleague think of no other person than me? Huh!

He planned to further his study - MA & PhD. Again, at my work place. 

She asked me to pray Istikharah which I did! So, while I was at my hometown, she acted as the go-between us with me asking lots of questions including the 4Qs above. I thought I was being clever enough to filter the seedy guy: 1) What is your plan w.r.t. hajj? 2) What is your opinion, as a hubby - hypothetically of course - on the roles of a career woman and as a wife, mother, daughter too? 3) What is your hobby? During free time? 4) Anything you would like to ask me? To be fair, again...

This 52 guy answered all questions. Wow!! I was quite happy with the answer...

By Monday, after so many Q&A, my matchmaker said there are certain things which ought to be amongst the two of us only and she's not interested to know. So, i gave her the permission to give my no to him. 

Here was the craziness started:

52 first messaged me on Tuesday noon. By the end of the day, we already had a long phone conversation. Continued on Wednesday - messages & long phone conversation - we clicked together!

On Thursday, I brought my mak to Seremban through KP. He knew of my plan to drive back on Friday morning. He offered to be my driver!!! He in Perai, take a bus (Hmm.. kata Dat*k??) to KL & I'm to pick him up with lots of rambutans, duku langsat, asam gelugor, belimbing buluh, and kedondong.

However by late Thursday evening, he said - changes of plan. It was ok with me - I'm used to drive alone anyway.

By Friday, when I reach Penang - he said he still wanted to meet up but not the 3 of us as discussed earlier - he's got something to tell me.

So, we met at 5pm. 

Here, again, the short story.

He got to know late Thursday evening thru a contact that his 3 stories semi-detached unit (show off with photos on Tuesday) is going to be auctioned off to pay his business debt from long ago - 2007/2008.

Since I kept telling him before that I don't like surprises! I don't like liar & cheater too! Or people trying to take advantage of me!

So, he's playing my cards...

I said, at the end of the so-called date (went ot the GH and ended up  he spent RM8.10 at cafetaria on campus for both of us - I wanted to think about it...

By Saturday, my matchmaker colleague got help of somebody to check his old Merc plate - road tax already expired since June and not belong to him! That explained the slow drive on the middle lane.

By following Monday, checked online to prove no dat*k (istiadat.gov.my - by states), no other vehicles under his name registered at J*J, he's blacklisted (forgot PD*M or J*J list), and best of all - he's registered bankrupt under E*N & Bank Isl*m! Around the same time, he updated his newly create Fb with getting the watikah - but where is the official photos?

I told my matchmaker, I told him that I wanted time to pray Istikharah which I did - for a week! By this time, he already went against my wish for privacy & changed his tunes a couple of time - wanting to be friend only now! 

I'm just grateful to Allah for putting me in his care, insya-Allah...save me from those who want to take advantage of me.  

5. Oh...that one from 5 years ago said, "You turn me down before, onwards, sorry la, I will always turn you down." That was on July 9th. I have loss count of how many times I reach out to him but this time, I get it - I really get it! How many times should I push myself to go through the same emotional roller coaster. We did met up once, surprisingly during Ramadhan for iftar - I guess, we have lost that feeling from inside us. I wish him the best & may he finds what he's really looking for so that I can really let go & move on..

Moral of the 5 stories: I can easily love again..