(Issues &) How easy it is to practice polygamy – A male point of view

Note: I’m writing this piece based on my observations & open talks with two guys who is closely related to me & also their kids respectively.

There’re similarities & differences between the two polygamy-scenarios.

Both guys married for the second time in secret from the whole extended family (parents & siblings from both sides). Each of them married for the 1st time of their own choosing, going through the normal process: berchenta, bawa balik jumpa keluarga & now settled down, having grown-up kids.

A much older Guy A married a much younger divorcee (with one kid from earlier marriage) from Batam (kawen sempadan), in secret from the first wife. They met in a karaoke club while he was entertaining clients (Why? WHY? …in the the 1st place? Not that I’m judging him here!) & she used to work there to earn a living. The ex-husband is asking her for lots of money by threatening to sell her baby (at that time). So, being a manly man, Guy A felt the need to be A Knight in Shining Armour & rushed to the rescue. Now that had happened, the Very Supportive Surrounding Male-Friends urged him: “Eh Mat, takkan tolong percuma saja. Alang2 tolong tu, kau kawen terus dgn dia…..”

A younger Guy B married a lil’bit older divorcee with no kid. Same thing, some thing to do with Ingin Menolong Golongan Wanita yang Lemah, Teraniaya blablabla……but since they’re all professional & work in the legal system, he somehow followed the legal procedure by getting permission from the 1st wife. Here is the catch – usually, (permission for) polygamy is allowed or granted (different according to state-syariah law like S'gor here) if the guy/husband can prove to court the need to take a second wife, like maybe the 1st one incapable of being Kids-Breeder (example only) for him, tak cukup memberikan kasih-sayang etc. etc AND also kemampuan zahir (financially) & batin (ADIL???). In his case, he said (in court): There’s nothing lacking with his 1st wife, his love for her doesn’t diminished even one bit (after 3 kids & years of marriage; from rags to riches moments..) BUT…there’s still a place in his heart for ONE more person to be loved!

Ok, so that’s the Best-Happy part. To be continued….What happened in reality: Post-Poligamy.