20120112

1. I'm not born to be a leader. I have taken all sort of personality tests back in Form 4 and as recent as in December last year, both concurred with the fact that I hate being put in a leadership position. I hate managing people, trying to second guess everyone's thoughts, visioning for the future of the organisation/club or whatever - it's simply not me. What a bonus to have a deputy who works well with you, but she's leaving soon.. *gasp!* And if a certain committee member kept on mentioning about how busy she is...well, don't wait for almost a year of her doing almost nothing only to receive the letter of resignation today... A good leader should be able to act fast, decisive & spot on! Need to look for a replacement next...

2. I have been asked again.. to join 1) a long-term research cluster in the organisation; 2) co-researcher with a friend cum colleague from another. Fact, I have yet to establish myself in my own niche! After much consideration and some persuasion from concerned colleague(s), I had declined from (1) even if my heart yearn to travel to the exotic location all over Malaysia! Reason being the person who is inviting me (thank you very much!) had the reputation of jumping ship at the critical hour! I'm working hard to understand no (2) but eventually I have to start somewhere...

3. A closed friend mentioned this in passing w.r.t. matter of the heart, 'Rad, did you notice the same pattern? This is similar to what has happened before....they just kept quite.." I guess, I wonder no more - something is wrong with me.. Well, I wish nothing but the best for you - O Married Ones! *cue in background music - Adxle's Somxone Likx Yox* And from watching Ombxk Rindx, "..redha itu ikhlas, sedangkan pasrah itu menyerah!"

4. I have been summoned to court again for speeding - the second summons within 6-months! For a mere extra 13 kmph!! Kinda regret my conversion to PKE when I had been lucky in the past two year or so travelling between North and South with my trusty MAV! Tell me, how could I not push the pedal when you're travelling on the hiway, the coast is clear, and all the other Beemers, Mercs and even Kancil zooming past? Tsk-tsk....but then again, I don't another accident to happen!

5. This is my conclusion from #3: Communication, Commitment, Confidence, Compromise.
Relationship between two people need a strong foundation build from easy camaraderie, no misunderstanding, acceptance to commit to the future (even just for a glimmer of hope & tiny expectation!), confidence with oneself (please do not ever mention my hard-earned 'fxcking PhD' (his words) AND later how unsuitable we are in one sentence) as well as respect that each of us come with baggages in tow! We failed in terms of communicating effectively and all of the above but I still like you, you know!