So many things on my mind..

..nothing new there right?

I’ll let you know some secret that I’m supposed to keep tight:

Somebody is addicted to heroine for almost as long as I’ve lived – all tender *ahem!* 34 years. All these while, everybody thought he’s smoking cigarettes only – a heavy-duty chain-smoker. *He quited point-blank*

Somebody has two teenagers who still sleep together with both parents on their king-size bed. Aren’t that worrying? *SOLVED*

Somebody finds love again, for the second time. Problem is the wife has just gave birth to their 4th child. *recalled the love*

Somebody is involved in a love-triangle & live in a make-believe world. He is deeply infatuated with the Heroine while she’s happily in love with the Hero, of course….He said that she’s fat, simply because no other things to say…

Somebody is put in a difficult situation when the wife of a being-consulted person suddenly called & they talked about the third-party, being not that somebody la!
___
I wrote the above entry some time late last year and forgot all about it..even who's who for some of the 'stories' above!
___

I'm trying hard to 'change' for a better me, esp. speak less, slowly & not so loud..

It's embarrassing when people like my colleagues mentioned that they can hear my voice from the top floor when they're in ground floor, or outside my room; friend asking me to 'boleh cakap perlahan sikit tak' over the phone; those who share 'things' with me only to be followed with statement like pls-keep-it-to-yourself etc. etc.

Maybe I need to be back at blogging regularly to sort my jumble up feelings & thinkings, sorta organized everything in a nice compartment...

..hang out my shingle..NOT yet!

To those (in the same boat) who had followed my 'long-winded journey: 2003-2009, full of self-commenserating & whining blablabla', here is the new beginning!!! It could be yours too.

P/s: Door wide open for business consultation but not medical prescription hehe..

..tonite is the nite!!

After maghrib, (cue music All-4-One's So Much in Love):
As we strolled along together,
(NO) holding hands walking all along Gurney Drive......
...
As we walked by the sea together,
under stars twinkling high above.....
(talked about relationships in general, marriage in particular)


Maka, kami pon tibalah di Gurney Drive punya tpt makan tu. Cheq dgn muka tak malunya order lah pasemborq (pinggan besar- utk share berdua!), char kue teow & laksa Penang, drinks pon gelas besaq. Sambung sembang tak ingat dunia sampai la dekat 12 mlm kot, tu pon blah pasai gerai2 nak tutup dah.

Then, we strolled back to the hotel (cancelled off taking a cab, not cheapskate lah but to burn more calories).

On the way back tu, the person said, why don't you just stay with me tonite? *Wawawa!!* I already had my overnite bag in my car boot

(To be continued...) Ngantuk la!

Err..

After I said, "All hope is gone..." somebody told me to give it another try - you know, just be friends, no expectation and things like that.

So, I messaged him on the pretext of asking where to go for early dinner since I've a visitor. I invited him along, and offered to pick him up. Called him to confirm the pick up point.

My special visitor said, given the earlier discreet instruction to 'look him over' during our threesome dinner, "Ok, he passed!" (sort of la, meaning he looks normal, act normal - even cute? hahaha...I couldn't remember exactly)

Only that it took him three weeks after that dinner (including thank you message immediately after I sent him home, in front of his gate) to call me again, for breakfast together, yesterday.

Honestly, I don't know what to make of him..

My advisor (you know who you are) said, "Don't superanalyse him...don't be too intense.."

P/s: Someone else is bugging my mind too. Help! I couldn't concentrate..

I tried, honestly I did try hard enough...

..maybe i was too harsh on him.
..maybe I'm too critical, demanding, picky, choosy or whatever.
..maybe he's testing me now.


So I thought why not give it another chance..

..but then he called me (over the phone), "Babe!" BABE????!!!!!!



Not once, twice.




All hope is gone I guess. *knockforeheadonthewall* Duh2x!

How to guarantee that you won’t be out for a second date with a MATURE lady…

Say, the two of you are ‘sorta matchmake’ by a concern friend of yours, with your respective blessings.

Given the distance in the locations, you, all the way from KL, agreed immediately (1 Bonus point here– don’t waste anymore time with IM, SMS or phone calls) for a meet up after office hour on a work day, in Kajang. Extra bonus point for you!

However,

1. when you arrived late, blaming the traffic jam (nothing new there!) and in such a bad mood…*who could you blame?* It spoilt the (date) mood too – DEDUCT 1 point

2. when you asked direction from parking place to the restaurant without giving your coordinate, must you blamed her for giving the wrong directions and thus making you ran around in circle? After all, she’s not familiar with the shopping complex too – DEDUCT another point

3. when you barged ahead, I repeat - on the first date, about getting married straight away… DEDUCT another point

4. when you asked details about her car and housing loans and then mentioned about your limo-for-rental business and how you take a bank loan using the matchmaker name since you name has been blacklisted which mean blablablah…DEDUCT 10 points & ..

*Quick2x! Run for cover!!*

How not to be a gentleman..

..in asking for a woman's hand in marriage.

Say, you're a divorce male, and also an upstanding man in the community, in your 50s and the woman in question is a spinster in her mid 40s. You're shy thus when people starts 'matchmaking' the two of you together, you encouraged them by saying, "Yes, do proceed..."

So these middle persons, mind you - there's not only one but 3 altogether, did ask the lady subsequently, whether she's interested and yes, she's (Why not? Here is a 'good catch'!)! At the same time, you started to pass by the house in the evenings, making eyes at each other during community gatherings - it's obvious and people do noticed. Alas, being the man in your position, you've admirers, one or two, who also like to be your wife and thus the start of bad-mouthing others...

Which is still okey until you suddenly announced that you're getting engaged to another lady from the same community!

It boggled my mind on thinking how dare you started something, making the lady to start hoping and everything and to hear about the engagement news from a third, totally unrelated party...

How not to succeed in attracting the fickle-minded opposite sex..

..who is old and mature enough to know what she wants..

Dude, after a couple of meets up for drinks, you:

1. asked her out again by saying: jom gi dating nak?
Ans: Euwwwww…you think I’m still in my 20 or something?

2. sakit leher & tengkok so asked her to picit your leher?
Ans: Who do you think you are???!!!

3. asked her to pick you up (not once).
Ans: Hellloooo, if you can not be a gentleman, then can you please act like normal person? Each drive his/her own car la…

4. asked her out at 1030pm on a working night?
Ans: Dude, seriously, your timing is totally messed up!

5. started to use ‘my dear’ (still acceptable since maybe you’re the product of Brits education but I noticed from last time that only the old folks that I met up at the newsagent, co-op and such who used such endearment!) but ‘hye darling’??
Ans: Seriously dude, I wonder whether there’s hope for you yet?

6. signed up at the end of your msg with your ‘title’.
Ans: You think I’ll be easily sway by that? You’re dead wrong! *play music Shania Twain's 'That does not impress me much'*

P/s: Am i choosy or what? Huh!

My heart had been taken….

I went out for a drink with a guy yesterday. He is sort of my colleague but not really a colleague -like same institution but different branches. He has been calling/smsing me for about a month now, asking me out for dinner, lunch & even breakfast – always with other reasons like he’s going to the library near my office, is the library open today (on a public holiday?) & such blablabla…Even though he’s approaching me for the obvious academic reason, some how I feel that is not the only reason why he keeps in touch with me – as was indirectly confirmed today (by his actions & talks).

The thing is, I don’t really feel like going out with him again. The only reason I did so today was that I’m not too sure what was his intention with regards to me – maybe mere colleagues? Being about the same age (he’s younger than me by a year but more senior in office), same qualifications (different field), single & looking for a serious relationship –we look like a perfect match!

But there’re these little things that annoy me. Things like snobbish attitude (e.g. when I suggested we go to the nearest café on campus (it's during office hour) & he said that was for those at technician level); cocksure attitude, showing off his new handphone (one of two; and said bad things about the one that I have), even his spec, hairstyle - are a big turn off! Not to mention a sign of a paunch! If you think that I’m only looking at the superficial side of him, how about this:
1. He’s staying with his parents.
2. He’s the eldest, with a younger bro & a sis. No kampung.
3. His mom still needs to remind him to take his vitamins every morning.
4. He’s not interested in anything that I’ve mentioned about my interests: going places, playing tourist & taking photos; exercising, big family/kids scares him, etc.
5. He has a tendency to be a road bully, I think.

Am I being picky, choosy here? (Do remember, at my age – a beggar cannot be chooser!)

But then, the guy that kept on coming up in my head as the basis for comparison is bald (half of the time I knew him, he had shaved his head), anak emak, also came with a lil’ paunch, and in contrast was totally not confident…

…so I guess my heart had been taken & no longer mine to give!

If only he (the latter) knew what he’s missing…
(I’m sure he’s happier now with his loved ones)
If only he knew how I miss him so…
(there are still times my tears drop when I think of him, which is quite often)
If only I can move on…
(oh come on rad, it has been more than a year now)
If only..
If and only if…

Oh, what a small world indeed!

Prelude
I was waiting for that moment, wearing my finest dress, inside a car beside the mosque, when a particular person in wedding finery too walked by on my side of the car. Suddenly, my heart beat quicken. All I saw was his backside, but my oh my – don’t I noticed that ever before! The glid of his body..the way he moved – there’s only so much of him that I can forget.

.......


Epilogue
I was the bride...
He was the groom...
We’re together in the same ceremony..
But we’re fated not meant to be (married to one another)!


P/s: How can it be eh?

L-Life’s update..

Q. Why is it that a guy thinks that he'll get some sympathy by declaring that he's orphan?
A. Hey, at our old-AGE, that’s nothing new!

Q. Why is it always happen that A pursues B while being pursued by C? How this ringless circus is confusing me?
A. The circus stops when one meets The One.

Hehehe...I've 2 phone numbers & 2 email account (at least) for now - the perfect recipe for playing fun eh? *so that I can separate my life into two different personae*

..be still my heart..